MeVs got dolled up Saturday evening and headed to the Dallas Center of Performing Arts downtown. One would assume the typical pageant stereotypes: moms living vicariously through their disturbingly identical looking daughters, absurd amounts of creepy old men evenly peppered among the crowd (sans family/participating contestant) and the slew of lame stall-jokes between acts via emcees. Miss Asian American Texas delivered.
A confusing mesh of 19 contestants, Teens and Misses, competed simultaneously for the respective titles. It was difficult to endure the gruesomely embarrassing trauma sessions from some of the contestants. But wait, we’re not monsters. MeVs doesn’t hate without offering some helpful solutions:
- dancing without shoes = terrible idea.
dancing without socks = cool.
- practice
- practice some more
- if you’re not enjoying it, fake it – we can see it in your eyes
- have fun!
Talent varied from an off-beat drum performance to Beat It, a notable monologue, to traditional ethnic dances. There were some attempts at singing, piano, and hip-hop dancing, but certainly less memorable. It was very clear candidates #11 (India) and #15 (China) had spent tremendous time practicing their dances. Also worth mentioning was #19′s ballet interpretation of Pirates of the Caribbean.
The gown competition was more or less typical, but was topped off with a peculiar Elvis-inspired performance by a gentleman close to his 50s (and Asian). Watching this stocky man adoringly serenade a group of barely nubile, mostly underage girls was almost as humorous as the two emcees…almost.
At the end of the weekend, I was left wondering what the strategy among competitors was. Some girls listed all of their academic achievements like a decorated veteran of the pageant circuit, others showcased their love for chocolate and shopping. Talent was scarce among this years flock, but beauty was abundant all-around. Do they still score ‘em like they used to? Beauty > brains? How does ethnicity play a part in all this? Does the decent hip-hop dancer beat the mediocre traditional dancer showcasing her heritage?
Many questions were left unanswered, but we do know this. Emcees should never narrate the following out loud: how long do I stall?, what comes next?, where is contestant #__?
